What? You’re Muslim?!?

What? You’re Muslim?!?

   I got a Facebook message the other day that got my cerebral gears a-turnin’. It was from a woman I had not yet met who had seen my posts on a secular Facebook page- a page that focused on health and fitness. She contacted me because in my picture I was wearing a headscarf which identified me as a Muslim. She was excited because she had recently come to Islam and was surprised to stumble across another local Muslim woman. I mean, what are the odds that in a town with a ridiculously tiny Muslim community she would find me on Facebook chatting about, of all things, a killer cross training session? After all, as a conversation topic, it really has squat to do with Islam.

   Having found each other “across the room,” we struck up a chat on Messenger and she opened up about some of her experiences as a new Muslim. I will not tell her story as it is not mine to tell. Suffice it to say many of her experiences mirrored many of my own. I had flashbacks to my own experience before my family knew I was Muslim. As I read her texts, I empathized with her. Coming to Islam in the Western world has it's challenges. On the one hand, having found peace and security in your beliefs is exciting and you want to tell everyone what you are experiencing. On the other hand, you know the negative stereotypes and fear surrounding Islam and it is easy to expect the worst.

   When I came to Islam, news spread like wildfire. Some people I told personally, others heard through the grapevine, which was often worse as they questioned why I hadn’t gone straight to them sooner with the "news". It wasn’t easy. In fact, it felt like I was admitting to some horrible crime or social taboo. Come to think of it, I kinda was. It is indeed taboo to embrace something at the center of so much controversy: Islam, of all religions, and NOW, of all the times in history. While it’s not a crime to be Muslim, the toxic fear running through the nation’s social veins is that Muslims are violent, hateful people. It was appalling to people that I could identify with it and hard for them to digest. They had to relearn how to relate to me, something I never saw coming.

   To me, when Allah subHanahu wa ta’ala brought Islam to me, it was like He gave me a word to describe something I had always known but could not identify. It was like I had always been wearing green, but only then learned the word for the color. Green! Al hamdu lil-llah (praise God), that’s what it’s called! From my perspective, in those early days, I felt I was still exactly the same person, but newly had a word to describe what I was wearing!

   To others, it was not so simple and so arose a conflict between my perception and theirs. My brother described my impact on people in terms I finally understood.  He used a pool as a metaphor for the space in which our lives all cross paths. It was as though I cannonballed into the pool, causing unexpected waves, causing some to get splashed in the face in a way that was shocking and uncomfortable. As he described it, people just needed time for the waves to calm, for them to come to terms with the new conditions in the proverbial family pool. From their perception, it was as though I told them all this time that they’ve known me, I had actually been a boy. It required them to redefine “Laura” and adjust accordingly.

   As I reflected on my story and that of my friend, I realized she and I just learned firsthand how difficult it is to “come out:” to reveal a truth about yourself that has always been there, always been an intimate part of who you are, but the signs of which people did not see or perhaps chose not to acknowledge. I now have a whole new respect for people who find it difficult to make certain things public. The backlash is not always easy. The “coming out” struggle that some people go through is not about getting attention, forcing others to agree with your lifestyle, or about straying from the status quo. It is about peeling back the layers of the socially acceptable “you” and letting the real you shine through.

   I've learned to be patient with those who are struggling with my beliefs. Not all my relationships survived my embrace of Islam, but insha Allah (God willing) with time and sabr (patience) the bonds of blood will overcome our differences in opinion about the nature of God. Most of my relationships; however, stood the test and are thriving. And whadda ya know… Allah has blessed me with many new relationships that build on and strengthen my Iman (faith in God). Masha Allah (it is as God wills)! Being more and more vocal about my faith means being more and more me, so let me tell you, struggle or no, it feels really good!

   If you, the reader, are going through something similar, I want to reassure you. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Every situation is different, and there might not be a “happily ever after” and I cannot promise that if you just hang in there everything will work out perfectly. But there is blessing in the trial and it does get easier. I have grown more and more confident talking about my faith and the more I learn about Islam and the more I talk to people, the more confident I become, not in myself, but in my Islam. I no longer skirt the issue of my faith or try to avoid the looks on their face when I tell people I am Muslim. I stand up now with an assurance that while people may not always accept me for who I am (Islam or no), I am strong enough to take that hit and keep on rolling.

May Allah subHanahu wa ta’ala continue to guide us all and teach us to love and accept each other for exactly who we are! As-salaamu alay

kum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu! Peace be upon you and the mercy of God and His blessings!