“Indeed With Hardship Will Be Ease”
Qur'an 94:6
So many people in my life, including myself, are going through a sort of crucible at this moment. For some it’s their health, for others, relationships. Some are struggling with faith or to find their place in this world or to reconcile unmet life goals with the realization that time is ticking by and their dreams are still out there… somewhere. Every trial I have ever had turned into a blessing, as will every trial I am going or will go through. I know it in my heart even if I cannot see it with my eyes. “Say, ‘Never will we be struck except by what Allah has decreed for us; He is our protector." And upon Allah let the believers rely.’” (Surat at-Tawba, verse 51, Quran.com)
So as I am going through my own lifemare I am silently shouting out to Allah subHanahu wa ta’ala (yes, silent shouting is a thing). My prayers are not as regular as they should be and I find myself making compromises, however small, both in how I handle myself and in my obedience to Allah subHanahu wa ta’ala. Yet at the same time I’m asking Him to hurry up and make it better already. All the while I am quite impatiently wondering what path do You have in mind for me? What does my future hold? See the problem in my approach yet?
I am going through what we religious folk like to call a trial- or a tribulation- take your pick of religious lingo. In other words, life is like, really hard right now. And my solution is to try for the quick fix which involves not embracing reality and growing through it, instead trying to manipulate it into something more palpable... and fast! If I were to give advice to anyone in my shoes it would be to not do what I am doing. In fact, I would tell them to take the Laura playbook and throw it out the window. Better yet, study it and do the opposite! So here’s my advice… to myself.
First, never turn your back on those who are most important to you, starting with God. Cutting your lifeline is not the way to survive. It is, however, a really good way to drown. So if you do nothing else to help your situation, pray. A lot. There is a peace that comes simply from taking a quiet moment to yourself to release the negative energy you have pent up inside. Therapists might tell you to journal to get your feelings out. Well, this is like journaling on steroids only you don’t have to go back later and re-read how silly or ridiculous you sounded while you were all worked up. You just let it go into the ether for someone else to deal with.
Prayer helps us to put into perspective the smallness of our problems while still acknowledging their bigness… Follow me on this one: Prayer is talking to Allah subHanahu wa ta’ala, The Creator of all the world. You’re telling God about your finances or your marriage or a health problem. Any problem you can throw at Him is pretty small potatoes compared to, um, God! And yet, as you pray, you are also acknowledging the impact of it on your life and how desperately you need to seek help from something or someone outside yourself. You are able to cry out about its immensity in your heart and on your mind, and the best part is, you don’t even need to use words!.
Prayer is calming. It is relaxing. It is humbling. It is a chance, amidst the chaos we call life, to take a time-out and a deep breath and just be. Remember, Allah subhanaHu wa ta’ala doesn’t need our prayers, we do. So when we stop praying, it is our own souls we're neglecting.
Second, never compromise. You are better than that. Allah subhanaHu wa ta’ala put on your heart a set of expectations. Don’t let anything get in the way of those expectations. In order to be authentically you, you have to stick to your guns, both in your relationships with Allah and with others. Don’t give in just because it is hard at the moment. Don’t compromise who you are to make someone else happy or for the sake of ease.
Is it ok to have expectations and stick to them? There is a saying out there, on the interwebs, “the moment you settle for less than you deserve, you get less than you settle for.” When you start putting aside those virtues or behaviors that are important to you, you stop being authentically you and it becomes easier to make poor decisions or compromises. Be the one in control. Live up to the expectations on your heart. Why? Because it is not your expectations of others I am talking about but rather Allah’s expectations of you. Don’t be afraid to let that virtue define who you are!
Sometimes life is hard and requires you to walk a narrow path. Sometimes you have to be uncomfortable. Or worse: lonely. It’s ok! You are experiencing it for a reason. There’s a pretty good chance there is some growing and maturing involved, or perhaps an opportunity to set some priorities straight. It is not the time to lose who you are, but rather, define who you are, to become stronger and more resilient.
Third, take your time and let the present be the present. Try to have no expectations of what is going to happen. Work through those things you are able to and release from your grip those things you cannot control. You cannot change the other person or force any relationship to be something it isn’t, but you can change yourself, improve your shortcomings, dare I say, shift your perspective. Find a way to find peace with the situation as it is, not as you want it to be. Then determine who you need to be in the situation. Don’t make decisions while high on emotions. Make them when you are feeling calm and logical. Don’t be afraid to listen to the advice of others. Sure, it feels just like a judgement and sounds like something you don’t want to listen to, especially if the advice is to be patient.… so let me tell you slowly and succinctly:
B e p a t i e n t! Sabr. Sabr. Sabr.
Allah subHanahu wa ta’ala has a beautiful plan for you. If He wills something for you, it will happen. If He doesn’t, it won’t. Trying to hurry God’s plan is like trying to move a mountain with your mind. Are you a Jedi? I didn’t think so! Stop trying to move mountains, sit back, and relax!
That’s my advice to me. Might not sound like there was a solution in there, but trust me, sometimes the more we try to control a situation, the more out of our control it becomes. Insha Allah (God willing) I will see God’s plan for all that is happening at the moment when He is ready for me to see it, and not a moment sooner. This time of transition is new, somewhat painful, a little confusing, a tad exciting, but most of all, is a catalyst toward something better! As the Qur’an says,
“indeed with hardship will be ease.” (Surah Ash-Sharh 94:6)
As-salaamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu! Peace be upon you and the mercy of God and His blessings!
